So here I am, and I've dreaded this day. I've become the type of person that I never wanted to be. I never thought that this kind of thing could happen to me. I knew it would be a difficult road, but not like this. I tried for medical school, I took my MCAT's, I applied and got accepted into a program. Last minute, I changed my mind, because the school wasn't what I thought it would be. This decision wasn't made hastily. I shared my thoughts with my mother and she strongly suggested for me to not enroll as it would not lead me to where I was aiming for. Basically, the school said one thing, but it really was another.

 

AND HERE I AM.

 

There is no easy way out and I'm bogged down with all these things to take into consideration regarding what to do next. Before, my most important aim was to do something that would make others and myself happy and that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. But looking back, my shot at happiness could have been a selfish one. Work is not always a luxury. Work is work. Not everyone has the chance and/or opportunity to enjoy what they do. But I was hoping I could be one of the few who did. At the moment, my main concerns are trying to pursue a path that will lead towards a CAREER, not a job, and will make use of my science degree. I chose a science degree because I loved it. As I'm older, I realize it doesn't work to be selfish. You just have to find what works. And something that my parents will be proud of me for. Well mainly my mother. I am a second generation Asian American. My mom came here in hopes of finding a better life for her family. My cousins back home are already working and pursing jobs that I am contemplating on. My mom's perspective is that because I am here already, that I should aim higher and try to go farther than what they aim for because I'd been given opportunities that they hadn't. It makes sense. I want to strive higher too. Medical school .... ah. I know deep, deep down, I still want to pursue a degree in medicine. I do. But the odds are against me. As anyone else. I'm weighing the pros and cons of it all. Maybe if I do nursing for awhile and then I can try applying to medical school again. To take my MCAT again ..... that test ... UGH. My med school friends hate that test. They curse it. They say it is useless. Yet, they do well and are doing well in medical school. Maybe instead of being an MD, I can broaden my scope to include DDS, DO, etc. After all, you still do make an impact in someone's life. The times I work in the hospital, I see people who are ill, I get tired from the work in the lab, but yet after all the anger and frustration, at the end of the day, I'm still happy. I still face stress, but I'd gladly do it all over again the next day, no questions asked. As a physician, can I feel the same way too? Even though I'd face more stress than I could imagine at this moment, wouldn't those similar feelings still exist? As I wrote more, I'm starting to think that I should give this one more try... I don't have the luxury of time, but I have more time than others and less than some. But maybe this time instead of focusing all my energy on just doing one thing, I'll try to do both. Maybe I will apply towards a post baccalaureate or accelerated nursing program? Those courses will be a good refresher for me. Once I have completed that and passed my NCLEX, I can look for a job and begin studying for the MCAT again and applying for medical school. And If I don't get accepted, I have at least that degree in nursing... right?

 

 

It seems like so much time ... it is. But I can't go back and try that now.

 

 

In the past few months, I've made a conscious decision to try and purchase products that are "cruelty-free" and do not test on animals. It has been extremely difficult as I had been using many kinds of products that engage in these practices. But I do feel better that I'm doing something. I would not want someone test on my animals, why should there be a difference with other animals including those in labs? I've been doing research to find companies that do not test on animals. Although it is hard, I still found a few good ones. Almay, Revlon, The Body Shop, Boots Botanics, MAC Cosmetics, Clinique, Chanel, Origins, Tom's of Maine, Bobbi Brown, Smashbox, Clarins of Paris, Prescriptives, Burt's Bees, Physicians Formula, IQQU,Queen Helene's, C.O. Bigelow, Aveda, and I think Dior? So whenever I do shop, I think about the brands I'll be buying and if they test on animals or not. Even if the economy is in a bit of a pinch presently, I rather spare these animals. They don't choose to be tested on and harmed in the process.

Here's a little story I came across a forum where two people were arguing why bother to avoid products that had animal testing. This was one reply:

"A wise man was taking a sunrise walk on the beach. In the distance he caught sight of a little girl who seemed to be dancing along the waves. As he got closer, he saw the little girl was picking up starfish from the sand and tossing them gently back into the ocean. "What are you doing?" the wise man asked. "The sun is coming up and the tide is going out; if I don't throw them in, they'll die." "But little girl, there are miles and miles of beach with starfish all along it; you can't possibly make a difference." The little girl bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it lovingly back into the ocean, past the breaking waves. "It made a difference for that one," she replied."

What are your views on cruelty-free products and purchasing them? Would you spend the extra money? Does it matter to you?

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